TFLN

[protivvyter]

1. I am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. I do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment.

2. Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. It's a fine line.

3. Accidentally made a bowl of mac and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad.

4. Or, ya know, text him.

Comments

[protivvyter]

Can we even GET drunk? I thought we proved that no. It's a fashion choice.

[ He's going to walk around with it on now, just to mess with you, Steve. LOOK WHAT YOU DID. ]

[on_ur_left]

If there's no fruit, it's not even a HEALTHY fashion choice. Think of the example you're setting for young assassins everywhere. Pretty soon they'll all be obese. Obese assassins.

[protivvyter]

Well, you're not supposed to EAT it.

[ What even is this conversation? Obese assassins? ]

It helps with deportment and spatial awareness.

[on_ur_left]

Oh. Well excuse me, Emily Post.

You're a super soldier with superhuman reflexes. Wth do you need help with either of those things for?

[protivvyter]

I am still lacking an arm. Makes me off balance.

[ That's his story and he's sticking to it. Also, Natasha put it there. ]

[on_ur_left]

[ It's a good thing they're texting, but Steve's pretty sure he just rolled his eyes so hard Bucky will know, anyway. ]

You're so full of shit.

[ ...that might tip him off, too. ]

[protivvyter]

YOU try walking around with only one arm, see how well YOU do!

[ THATS HIS STORY AND HES STICKING TO IT ]

... And don't roll your eyes at me.

[on_ur_left]

I will roll my eyes all I want at you. I feel like it's a prerequisite for friendship with you, at this point. Especially when I'm not within arms distance so I can't smack that stupid frosting bowl off your stupid head.

[protivvyter]

Do that at your own peril, Steve. I cannot be held responsible for what might happen if you were to perpetrate such an act of violence.

[ Yes, he's being an ass. ]

[on_ur_left]

OK whos dictionary did you steal? And wtf have you been reading? Better question: wtf have you been SMOKING?

... This is Natasha's fault isn't it.

[protivvyter]

Can't stand the smell of smoke. I've been reading a great novel, though, you'd hate it. All about adventure and good guys and bad...

[ He is not touching the Natasha thing. Because of course it is. ]

[on_ur_left]

You are SO full of shit omg. What book?

[protivvyter]

[ He's just going to send an image file. ]

[on_ur_left]

THIS is the most important question out of this entire conversation: WHY AM I EVEN FREINDS WITH YOU

[protivvyter]

Who else is going to put up with you?

[on_ur_left]

I have other friends.

... Sam is my friend.

You're such a jerk.

[protivvyter]

Oh, Steve. Of course Sam is your friend.

Wait, I have a bowl of frosting on my head, how am I a jerk?

[on_ur_left]

Bc youre rude & sarcastic & a huge troll.

[ Steve can't help glancing back and forth furtively, despite nobody even being around, let alone knowing what he just wrote. But that kind of huge hypocritical statement makes him feel like he's about to be pointed and laughed at. ]

[protivvyter]

What's the phrase Shuri uses? Oh, yeah. Pot. Kettle.

[on_ur_left]

I don't even like you. We're just friends bc we grew up together. I think they call it Stockholm Syndrome.

[protivvyter]

So you do like me. Because that's the one... wait, which one is that?

[ Forgive him, he's currently been reading up on mental health issues and got lost in the depths of Wikipedia. ]

[on_ur_left]

That's the 1 where hostages end up wanting to help their captors, bc they start to feel sympathetic for them.

[protivvyter]

Not the one I was thinking of then. I got lost in Wikipedia again.

[on_ur_left]

I've done that before. Nat calls it 'falling down the rabbit hole.' You know, from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

[protivvyter]

Can't we just call it addictive? Also, Wiki's gotta be the best way to catch up. But it's hard on your browser. Nat says 'hi'.

[ That would be a 'yes' Nat put the bowl on his head. ]

[on_ur_left]

I think it's bc addiction is where you crave something. This is just you get interested, & next thing you know you've slipped into a completely unexpected place, & lost a bunch of time you hadn't realized. & how is it hard on your browser?

[protivvyter]

I had like... 50 tabs open or something. Just in wiki. Not counting the other tabs?

[on_ur_left]

I just go from one link to the next, in the same tab. You can always backtrack to keep reading. I usually do a lot of skipping around, but mostly in the same tab. Maybe open 1 or 2 I want to make sure to read later.

[protivvyter]

I never finish reading something before a link takes me elsewhere, and then that takes me more places and then... Well, you get the idea.

[on_ur_left]

That's the point you just admit defeat & close the earlier links, bc you're never gonna get back to them.

[protivvyter]

What else am I supposed to do in the middle of the night?

[on_ur_left]

... Sleep? Yeah, forget I typed that. Binge TV shows. Have you seen I Love Lucy yet? Or Star Trek?

[protivvyter]

[ Bucky is going to ignore that, because Steve knows why he doesn't sleep. ]

Not Lucy, not yet. But I'm on Star Trek Next Generation right now.

[on_ur_left]

[ There's a long pause before the text finally appears. Steve is choosing his words carefully, hesitating and deleting until he's satisfied that it's worded as painlessly as it's possible. Sometimes it's easy to be blasé about it, and sometimes he can barely even type the words out without a lump forming in his chest, discussing everything he - they - missed. ]

I started close to the years just after the war, kind of going in chronological order.

[protivvyter]

[ Bucky grimaces. There are years he wants to forget, that he remembers in blood and a gunshot. ]

I think I'm working backward. Except for Bogart. Him I went straight through on.